From Trying to Being: A Different Path to Healing

The last few months have been a time of great change for me and my clients. As I reflect on this change, I've noticed one key element woven throughout them all, namely the absence of trying.

I have spent a good deal of my life trying to change, to be a better version of myself, to heal my body. I don't think this worked very well and there certainly wasn't much ease in it. I spent most of my time grasping for the change I wanted and then judging myself for not having it, rather than being in the state of change I wanted. Maybe you've experienced this too.

This sense of trying often comes from outside pressure that then gets internalized. There is a strong sense in our culture that we must always be pushing, moving forward, and most of all, fixing ourselves. There is so much strain in all of this. We tell ourselves that if we could just change X, then we'd finally be happy, lovable, worthy. This belief is exactly what keeps us trapped in trying, in struggle.

What if we could just be with our pain, or our anxiety, or our anger? What if we could hold it, lovingly, like a small child who is oh so scared, without needing it to change? What if we stopped trying to fix and started simply witnessing? What would happen then? I think a great deal would change. I see it every day in my work.

Each of our flinchlocks (those places where bones hold trauma in defensive states) is like a small child stuck in fear. It grips so tightly to the original impact and to all the shock and trauma that occurred in that moment. Together we hold it with such love and care that it naturally returns—first to itself, then to connection with the rest of the body. The lack of force lets this all occur naturally, at its own pace, with ease.

If this resonates with you—if you're ready to explore healing through being rather than trying—I'd love to support you. Book your session below or simply reply to this email.

With warmth,

Leilani

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